Just a Memory
by raspberrytart
Summary: Terra's POV during Things Change. Spoilers [duh].


Just a Memory

Terra's POV during "Things Change." Spoilers, duh.

* * *

As soon as the ruckus started, I should have known that there was only trouble around. When that prickling of adrenaline raced through my body, I should have made myself scarce. But instead, I turned with the throngs of other people to see what was happening.

The commotion was centered at a construction site, but it was really hard to make out what was going on aside from all the noise. I saw some flashes of color, and then a giant rock came flying toward me—toward all of us.

For a moment, everything slowed. I may have looked like a normal teenager, but I wasn't. I could stop that rock in mid-air or send it off in another directions. But that would only further envelope me in my past, and I couldn't be a part of that…no matter what.

I raised my arm to protect my face and closed my eyes. The rock slammed into the ground only a few feet away from the group, showering us with dust and debris. As the dust cleared, I could finally see what was happening.

It was some sort of weird monster, and he was fighting…

Oh no.

The Teen Titans.

No one had seen the Titans for months. TV news and newspapers had been speculating that the teenagers had abandoned the city or had even been killed. The Titans East had been popping up here and there, which only fueled the rumors. I made it a point not to read or watch the news, but the disappearance of the Titans was such a big story in our city that everyone wanted to talk about it.

Everyone but me. I didn't want anything to do with the superheroes.

And now I realized that I was coming all-too close to something of which I didn't want to be a part. I quickly turned and ran, hoping that no one had seen me.

* * *

I stood outside my school, waiting for my friends. All day I had been feeling nervous and sick about what I had seen yesterday. I hadn't slept last night at all. The entire school day had passed in a blur of nausea and uncompleted homework. 

"So come clean," my friend Jada said as she approached with my other friend, Ginger. "How did you do on the geology quiz?"

Ginger spoke up, "You know that she aced it. I don't even know why you ask." She poked me playfully. "Did you even study?"

"I like rocks," I responded with a smile, not answering her question because they both knew the answer. "They make sense to me."

"_That_ makes no sense," Jada returned. "Well, promise you'll tutor me later this week, okay?"

"I promise," I said.

"Hey, Terra! It's me! Beast Boy!" shouted a voice. My heart began to pound in my chest as I glanced up, seeing the green Teen Titan standing outside the fence, his hands gripping the iron bars tightly. I let out a noiseless gasp. My mind was racing. What was he doing here? How had he found me? Had he seen me yesterday? But they had been fighting…I had done anything… I suddenly felt dizzy with adrenaline.

"You know him?" Ginger asked, a tinge of disgust in her voice.

I didn't know what to say, so I shrugged and began to walk away. My friends quickly fell into step behind me.

It had been one thing to see the Teen Titans at the construction site, but this was completely different. This was too close. And this was Beast Boy. One-on-one. I wasn't ready for this; no amount of wondering or daydreaming could have prepared me for it.

"Terra, wait up!" he called, running along the fence.

My heart began to beat faster. I wanted to run, but I didn't dare—it would be too obvious. What did want with me? Was he here to get his revenge? To have a confrontation?

Suddenly, he leapt in front of me, forcing me to stop. My eyes faced his direction, but I refused to focus on him. Instead, I mentally braced myself for whatever he was about to do

_Please go away,_ I thought, wishing for a moment that the earth would open up and swallow me. Then a bitter taste filled my mouth as I realized the irony of that wish.

He smiled. _Smiled_. Why was he smiling at _me_? I didn't return the gesture.

He grinned and waved.

Was this a trick? Was he trying to crumble my walls so that he could attack? "Sorry," I said coldly, "you've got the wrong girl."

His smile melted and his eyes widened. "You don't remember me?" he asked in a heart-breaking tone.

"Should I?" I responded, swallowing a lump in my throat.

"I'm Beast Boy," he said, somewhat desperately. "We used to hang out together. You thought I was funny." He put one hand behind his head, smiling sheepishly.

The smile triggered so many memories of video games and pizza, of sitting on the beach and laughing. A giggle escaped my lips.

His expression brightened and he chuckled. "See? I can still make you laugh."

My smile fell. God, just standing here in front of him was messing with my head. "Like I said, you've got the wrong girl." I spun around, walking back toward my friends. I had to get out of here.

He put his hand on my shoulder to stop me, sending shivers down my spine. The touch made everything a thousand times more real. Just one step back and his arms would be around me, holding me like he used to…

"Maybe if we just talk," he said. "Then you'll remember."

I didn't want to remember; I was trying to forget. "I've got to go," I said, feeling the lump form in my throat again.

"Just one pizza?" he begged. "I'm buying. What have you got to lose?"

He had a point. I'd already lost everything that I cared about. The only thing I had left was my sanity, and I wasn't sure how firm of a grip I had on that. _I'm not ready for this_, I thought.

My friends suddenly swooped in from both sides, crushing his arm between their bodies.

"She's not interested," Ginger snapped.

"Yeah," Jada said. "Get lost, _Brat Boy_."

That was uncalled for. I know that they were just trying to protect me, but they had to realize that this was a Teen Titan—one of the superheroes that had saved the city countless times. He didn't deserve to be ridiculed like that.

"It's Beast Boy," he said softly.

I glanced back, watching him pull his hand free and look at the sore fingers. I had rehearsed this moment over and over again in my head, but every time it had gone down differently. I still felt horribly unprepared. What was I to do?

What if this was the last time I ever saw him? He had sought me out and I was pushing him away…but could I live with it ending like this? Would he be convinced enough to leave me alone after seeing me? Would it be that awful to spend a little time with him?

"Maybe one slice." It took a moment to realize that I had said the words out loud. My jaw dropped a little bit as I struggled to comprehend what I had just said. However, my friends were now gaping at me like I had lost my mind.

Beast Boy's face brightened with a giant grin. He grabbed my hand and pulled me so hard that I dropped my books. "Aw great! I'll take you to our favorite place!"

"You _sure_ you wanna go with this guy?" Ginger called out to me as Jada picked up my books.

"It's okay," I said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Once we were down the street a bit, Beast Boy slowed down. He didn't, however, let go of my hand. I pretended that I didn't notice.

"We've been out of town for a while," Beast Boy was saying, "and a lot of the Titans' favorite places have closed. But I saw our pizza place yesterday, so I know it's still there."

"Out of town?" I echoed. I figured that if I could keep him talking about the team that he wouldn't ask too many questions.

"Yeah, we've been all over the world, rounding up all the Titans…"

He continued, but my mind was already drifting. "All the Titans." Had he not told the others about finding me? Or did the others just not care? I couldn't blame them for not wanting to see me. Actually, I didn't want to see them, either. I couldn't face any of them. That was why I had stayed hidden.

Beast Boy continued his story all the way to the pizza place, talking about the other superheroes that they had met around the world. He led me to an outdoor table, finally releasing my hand.

"Wait here," he said. "I'm gonna order and get us some drinks." I nodded, watching him as he walked away.

Then acid began to burn inside of me. What was I doing here? I couldn't sit here, pretending like everything was all right, because it wasn't even close to being _all right_.

Why had I agreed to this?

Before I could make a run for it, Beast Boy returned with two glasses of water. He set one down in front of me, smiling slightly.

"So let me tell you about what has been happening with the Titans," he volunteered.

I nodded, and he dove into his story.

* * *

"And then," Beast Boy said, "we pushed the brain into the freezing machine." 

I giggled. "Brain freeze. That's funny."

He jumped back into his seat. "_Finally_ someone gets my joke!" Then he sat with his face resting in his hand, gazing at me with that look of…love. "You haven't changed a bit, Terra," he said softly.

I bristled. "Why do you keep calling me that?" I asked, staring at my hands.

"Because you _are_ Terra."

"What makes you so sure?"

"You look like her. You—you talk like her. You laugh like her." He was quiet for a minute; I could feel his eyes taking me in. "Don't you remember anything from before?"

_I wish I didn't._ "I just remember high school," I said dismissively.

"You used to live in the desert before joining the Teen Titans. You couldn't control your powers at first." His voice turned cold and angry, "Then _Slade_ helped you, and you wanted to take over the city."

_Please stop_, I mentally begged. I didn't want to hear it—especially from Beast Boy. The images still plagued my dreams at night. I didn't want anything to do with it.

I could make excuses for myself—about how Slade manipulated and tricked me, or how I wouldn't have gone to Slade in the first place if the Titans had been more trusting and accepting of me from the beginning—but really, there was no way to excuse the things that I had done.

"But in the end," Beast Boy continued, "you couldn't go through with it. And you saved us all."

Saved them. Right. Just like the person who lights a building on fire and then conveniently rescues the people of that building. They wouldn't have needed saving if it had not been for me.

I clenched my fists tightly, letting my nails dig into my palms. "Why would you want to be friends with someone who was so much trouble?" I asked quietly.

"Because I know who she really is," he replied.

_And just exactly who is she?_ I wanted to ask, because I sure as hell didn't know anymore. I didn't get the chance, however, because the server arrived with our pizza.

Beast Boy beamed as the dish was set on our table. "One supreme pizza with extra anchovies, hold the mushrooms. Just the way you like it," he said with a wink.

No one in my life right now knew that was the way I liked my pizza—not even Ginger or Jada. And the fact that Beast Boy had remembered after all this time, and had even ordered the _entire_ pizza with fishies on it, even though he didn't even eat anchovies…

"_You don't have any friends,"_ echoed a voice in the back of my mind.

"I don't like anchovies," I blurted out. "I'm allergic." I suddenly couldn't handle being here. I needed to get away. "I should get going." I quickly stood up, bumping my glass of water over.

"No! Stay!" Beast Boy said desperately, also jumping to his feet. "I don't eat anchovies, either. We'll get whatever you want!"

I began to slowly move away. "I've got a lot of homework and I need to get to the computer lab."

"We're got an awesome computer at the tower. You can work there—be finished in half the time."

I stopped, glancing back over my shoulder. I was so torn. I wanted to go there—to see the world that I had thrown away. But if I did that, there could only be one of two outcomes: I would give up the charade and ask for forgiveness, or the guilt would drive me completely insane. Neither sounded appealing. But maybe this would be good for me. Somehow…

Do things really happen for a reason?

"Okay," I said finally. "But I've got to be home before dark."

He smiled again. "'Kay!"

* * *

On the way to the Tower, I began to fret about what I would say to the other Teen Titans. How would they respond to me? How would I react to them? Would Raven be able to tell that I was lying about my memory? But my worries turned out to be unfounded—the others weren't around. 

Maybe that's why Beast Boy invited me back to the tower in the first place.

He led me to the living room. I stood in awe, taking in every detail. It looked exactly like I remembered.

"Wow!" I exclaimed breathlessly. I had never thought that I would be back here—never. Then I quickly added, "This is cool!"

"This is where the Titans get all their mission assignments," Beast Boy explained. He pointed over to the kitchen, where dishes overflowed from the sink and covered the countertops. "Over there's the kitchen, and—and that's where we play video games!" He pointed over to the couch, which was covered with chips, empty pop cans, and GS2 game disks and controllers. "See?"

There were a lot of memories tied to this—trying out Starfire's cooking, playing video games against the boys, winning the last slice of pizza…

And I had thrown all of that way when I had betrayed them.

I pushed the thoughts out of my mind. "Must be nice to live here," I murmured.

"You used to live here, too," he said quietly.

"I think I would remember living in a place like this," I said a little too quickly, keeping my face turned away so that I wouldn't have to meet his eyes.

He was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "Come on. I'll show you your room."

I nodded, turning to follow him.

I could have walked the path to my bedroom with a blindfold on, but I forced myself to stay behind him. He didn't speak—his face set deep in thought—until he opened the door and stood back to let me in first.

For some reason, I had expected the room to be empty—stripped bare in an effort to purge the memory of my traitorous presence. But no, the room was in pristine condition—certainly in better condition than it had ever been when I had lived there.

Sunlight streamed through the large window, pouring over the couch and coffee that had been put there to take advantage of the view. To the left was an alcove, where my large bed waited, the covers so smooth and perfect that they could have been part of a catalog shoot.

I glanced up at the ceiling, which twinkled with thousands of little "stars". It had taken Cyborg two days straight to achieve the effect.

"Stars," Beast Boy said, no doubt noticing what I had been staring at. "Because you like to sleep outside."

"Not me," I dismissed quickly, wrapping my arm across my body. "I hate camping out. Too many bugs." I slowly stepped toward the bed, wanting to feel the fabric on my fingertips one more time. But then a glint appeared in the corner of my eye, and I turned toward it.

_God, no_, I thought as my eyes fell upon the silver, heart-shaped box that sat on the coffee table. My body moved toward it almost on its own accord, and my hand reached for the box. I picked it up, holding it out like a dangerous creature.

Why had he kept it? Why hadn't it been thrown out?

I lifted the lid, my face reflecting back to me in the now-inverted heart. Beast Boy stepped up behind me, and I could see his reflection behind mine.

"I made that for you," he said. "Remember, Terra?"

Did I remember? Remember how he had come to my door that night with messily wrapped package covered in paper and tape? Remember how my insides had burned when I had torn off the paper and saw that beautiful heart? Remember how he had then asked me out, and how I had slammed the door in his face? Remember how I had realized then that I had fallen for him and that even though I had promised Slade that I would hand the Titans to him on a silver platter that I couldn't leave Beast Boy? Remember how I had disabled the tower's security system and then convinced Beast Boy to run off with me, leaving the rest of the Titans for dead? Remember how I had been a breath away from kissing Beast Boy when Slade had shown up and revealed my traitorous acts? Remember how Beast Boy had looked at me with such hatred and spat how I didn't have any friends?

Did I _remember?_

My self-hatred burned inside of me, evaporating any tears before they could surface. "It's cute," I said stiffly, quickly closing the lid on the box so that I wouldn't have to look at my reflection. "Listen, I've really gotta go."

I set the box down, then spun on my heel and headed for the door. Beast Boy was in such a hurry to keep up with me that he didn't appear to notice that I navigated the maze of the tower without a problem. To be honest, I didn't care, either.

"Terra!" he called out at me. I didn't slow. I didn't turn. "Terra!"

I burst out the doors, stepping out onto the beach. The sand slid under my shoes, and I stumbled a bit in my haste.

"Terra!" he shouted once more.

I finally stopped, my heart pounding in my chest. My eyes set on watching the sun set into the sea. I reached my right arm across my body and held onto my left arm.

"Maybe your friend is out there somewhere," I said distantly. "I hope you find her."

"I already have," he returned.

"_You don't have any friends,"_ snapped the voice in my head again.

Beast Boy picked up a stone, turning it in his hand. Then he tossed it across the water, and we watched it skip a few times. Then he held a stone out for me…just like he had done when we were friends.

I held my breath for a second. "Beast Boy…"

"Come on!" he exclaimed, clearly exasperated. "You've got to remember! Something! Anything!"

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take; the tension between us was becoming unbearable. I wanted to answer all the questions that I was sure he had. I wanted to tell him that I forgave him for telling my secret; I wanted him to forgive me of all the awful things that I had done. I wanted it all to be over. I wanted him to hold me and finally take that kiss that we had come so close to sharing before my world completely fell apart.

His ears pricked up for a moment, and he reached down and scooped up some of the soft mud from the shore. "You can move the earth!" he exclaimed.

And then he lobbed the mud pie right at me.

I could have stopped it in mid-air. I could have used my power to throw it back at him. But that wasn't me. I didn't dare touch my power any more.

The mud hit me with such force that I stumbled back. It coated my face and hair. "Why did you do that?" I yelled, angrier with myself than I was at him. I didn't give him a chance to respond before I spun around and ran away.

"Terra! I'm sorry!" he called behind me. "Maybe you need more time to remember how to use your powers!" I could hear him pursuing me. "Come back! I'll help you!"

I had no intention of going back. I was done. This whole thing had been a mistake. I had been stupid to think that I could get that close to my old life.

I ran harder and faster, my skirt whipping around my legs and my breath heavy in my ears. I knew I could outrun him as long as he didn't morph into one of him animal forms.

_Please let me go!_ I prayed.

I ran for blocks. When I eventually looked back, he wasn't there.

* * *

It was like I fell asleep, wrapped in a blanket of cold, dark earth. Sometimes when I think about, it felt like one of those nights where you swear you've just fallen asleep and then your alarm is going off, and it's been eight hours even though it only feels like seconds. But other times…other times I remember it being a very long sleep—one I couldn't shake off or wake up from. 

The first thing that I became aware of was the impact against my hands and knees, as if I'd rolled off the top bunk bed and landed on the ground. With that jarring awakening came a deep gasp for breath, followed by hoarse coughing. I continued that for a moment, gasping and coughing but not going a particularly good job at either one. Tears filling my eyes, I rolled over onto my back. I couldn't see anything but blackness around me—that truly terrifying blackness that seems to have depth but you can't be truly sure of it.

I lifted my hand to my eyes, brushing the wetness away from my eyes with the back of my fingers. I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face.

Where was I? What had happened?

My hand dropped to my chest, where the feel of cold metal greeted my fingers—and the small "S" emblem.

And then everything rushed back—all the awful things that I had done. I remembered fighting the Titans. I remembered using all of my power and setting off a volcano to kill Slade. Beast Boy tried to get me to leave with him and the rest of the Titans, but I had to stay and stop the volcano before it destroyed everything. I had given him a hug. After that, things got a little fuzzy. There was deafening noise and searing heat. And then there had been nothing…until now.

I screamed, the noise echoing all around me throughout the darkness. I screamed for the evil I had done and for all that had happened. I screamed for what felt like hours.

I only stopped when my throat was too raw to let out another peep. The cave fell quiet once again, and I could hear water dripping somewhere in the distance. I slowly rolled back over to my hands and knees, my mind churning over what to do next. I didn't know where I was, but I guessed that I had been left in the caves under the city where the battle had taken place. Had I even succeeded in saving the city? Was there anything up there?

I could easily escape the blackness by using my powers to control the rocks around me. My stomach churned at the very thought. I didn't want to use my powers _ever_ again. Could I find my way out without using them? Or would I just stumble around in the darkness and die?

Actually, death sounded like a better option than using my powers. I slowly crawled forward, one hand out in front of me to feel for rocks. After a moment, I had found the winding path that would lead out of the cave, and I began to orient myself it. I don't know how long it took, but eventually I could see light ahead. I stood on my wobbly legs, stumbling toward the exit.

The warm sun poured down on my head, greeting me back from my grave. I held up my hand, shielding my eyes from the bright glare. My vision was extremely blurry, and I blinked a few times in an attempt to clear it—with no luck. I began to move toward the city.

I didn't need clear vision to see the city, or the Titan's Tower, which stood triumphantly on the shoreline. So I had done it. I had saved the city.

Hmm. "Saved."

I slumped down into the sand, staring at that glittering, T-shaped tower.

I'd lived there once—well, twice actually. The first time I'd been shy and scared, afraid that the others would notice that I didn't have any control over my powers. The second time I had been in full control of my powers, but I had been working for Slade. Even though the Titans had always been accepting and friendly, I betrayed them all. And why did I do it? Because Slade told me to and I didn't tell him "no." Because I had been so desperate for a family and acceptance that I had sworn to do his bidding and turn against my friends.

The thought of Slade made my blood boil once again. I looked down at the insignia on my chest, clawing at it until it broke off into my hand. I tightened my fist around it, feeling the shape of the "S" press into my palm. My knuckles turned white and I gritted my teeth in anger. Then I screamed again, my vocal cords burning, as I threw the insignia into the water.

I stared at the Tower again. I couldn't face them. Not after all I had done. Not after betraying them and leaving them for dead.

It was time for Plan B. Whatever the heck Plan B was.

To my surprise, I was able to remove Slade's suit. He had said that it had integrated with my nervous system, but obviously the effect had been reversed. I didn't know how, and I didn't care. I was just grateful to be rid of it. I trashed the suit and donned the first ragged set of clothes that I could get my hands on.

I found refuge at an orphanage run by a bunch of Catholic nuns, who took me in and arranged for schooling. And that was when I discovered how long it had been—how long the Titans had left me in that cave.

When the sisters asked me my name, I told them that I didn't remember. They ended up picking out a name for me. It really didn't matter what they called me. It only mattered that I wasn't _that girl_ any more.

I was playing the role of a normal teenager, but I knew that I would never be one of them.

* * *

Beast Boy intercepted me in the hallway as I excited my English class the next day. I had thought perhaps that Beast Boy would give up after yesterday's events, but that had been a foolish thing for me to think. I wasn't really surprised to see him.

"Are you going to keep running away from me?" he asked, falling into step with me.

"I'm not running from anything," I said angrily. "GO HOME!"

"Not until you talk to me!" he said.

God, what did he want to talk about? How completely screwed up our circumstances were? How we could never take back the things we had done? Was he now going to ask all those questions that he had avoided the day before?

"You can't keep following me!" I said, marching up to the door to my next class.

"Why not?"

"It's the _girl's_ locker room," I said, pointing to the door. I stormed inside, sitting on the bench in front of my locker and letting out a deep sigh. I buried my face in my hands.

How was I ever going to get through this?

* * *

After P.E. came study hall. I refused to talk to Beast Boy, so he followed me around like a shadow. I had my notebook open and I was attempting to memorize the geometry formulas I'd scribbled inside, but my mind kept drifting. I hadn't really slept the night before. My mind had kept churning over all the thoughts and emotions that I'd had during the day. 

Was I doing to right thing, pushing Beast Boy away like this? Had I made the right decision? I had a poor decision-making track record, so could I even trust myself on this stuff?

I glanced down at my notebook.

I had scrawled "_BB ♥ Terra"_ on the top page.

Really, I knew the most important reason for doing this—Beast Boy. I couldn't drag him on any longer. He deserved to be free of me once and for all. Forever.

Suddenly, a loud alarm went off, jolting me out of my thoughts.

"I'm awake!" Beast Boy exclaimed from the other side of the giant book stack that separated us. Everyone in the room shushed him.

I quickly ripped the incriminating page out of my notebook. "Go outside!" I whispered loudly. I balled up the piece of paper and shoved it into the pocket of my skirt.

Beast Boy's head appeared over the top of the books. "So you're talkin' to me now?"

The librarian shushed him.

"You're going to get me in trouble!" I said. "Go outside!"

"Not unless you come with me," he insisted.

I stood up and angrily marched for the door. I stopped by my locker and got out my geometry book, holding it to my chest. I glanced at the clock. "Okay, you've got two minutes," I said.

He took a deep breath. "Maybe you don't remember, but I do. You're my friend. You're a Teen Titan!"

He reached out his hand toward me, but I stepped back like it was a snake. The memories bombarded my head. If I admitted everything, would it all be forgiven? Would I be able to finally kiss him?

No. I had made my decision. I dropped my arms to my sides. "You're wrong," I said solemnly.

"You don't belong here, Terra," he said.

"Stop calling me that!" I shouted, brushing my hair behind me ear.

"It's who you are!"

_But it's not whom I want to be._

"What do you want from me?" I asked, my voice cracking just the slightest bit. _Don't cry_.

"Why can't things just go back to the way they were?" Beast Boy asked. "You were so happy then!"

I remembered being held by him…moments away from sharing our first kiss. I had been so excited and so in love that I had forgotten all the evil that I had set in motion that night. And then Slade had showed up and reminded me of the lie that I had been living and the things I had done.

So close to happiness, but always something keeping me back.

I held my books to my chest again. "Things were never the way you remember." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Now just leave me alone."

He pulled his communicator off his belt. "Here," he said, holding it out for me. "Take this. In case you're in trouble. In case you need me. You can call me any time."

I looked at it, wanting to take it. Then I gazed at him, in his eyes. I had to save him from me. "I don't need it," I said.

"But--!"

I turned and began to walk up the hallway. "Time's up," I said.

"Terra," he began, his voice cracked…heartbroken.

I stopped moving. My chest burned so much that I thought that my heart was going to burst inside of me. Couldn't he see that this was for the best?

"Things change, Beast Boy," I said, turning back around. "The girl you want me to be is just a memory."

His eyes flashed for second, as if he was trying to comprehend the meaning behind the words that I had just said.

"_Come in, Beast Boy!"_ spoke the communicator. Robin. _"We need your help!"_

He didn't respond to the leader of the Titans, but looked at me with imploring eyes. "Come with me," he pleaded.

I shook my head. "You go. _You're_ the Teen Titan. That's who _you_ are. That's not me. I'm not a hero. You have to save the world." I began to slowly back away. _This is it,_ I realized. _You're either Terra now or you're not_. "I'm just a girl with a geometry test next period and I haven't studied."

The bell rang, and the hallway filled with students. I continued to back away as the students milled around me, blocking my view of Beast Boy.

When I couldn't see him any more, I felt the burning sensation in my chest reach its limit. I ducked into the nearest empty classroom and slumped to the floor.

And for the first time since I had been reawakened, I began to cry.

_The End. _

* * *

**A/N: **This episode struck a very deep chord in me. Five years ago, my best friend announced that it would be better for both of us if we were no longer friends. I never saw it coming and I never found out why the decision was made. My friend never answered my phone calls and letters, and I have not seen or spoken to that friend since that fateful day, but I still have dreams and nightmares about what would happen if I were to run into this person again. 

I think I know how Beast Boy must have felt to have Terra basically announce that she wanted nothing to do with him and never wanted to see him again. But that made me want to write the story from Terra's point-of-view, to try to make sense of why she would do something like that—just like so many times I have wanted to know why my friend did the same thing to me. I hope you enjoyed it.


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